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- Verified Buyer
Gayden's book is beyond a cookbook---it brings to mind that culture that we lived and actually are still living in the South. A Yankee friend said she just "couldn't relate" to the book. Poor thing. I guess it just takes a Southern lady of a "certain age" to fully appreciate the authenticity of Gayden Metcalfe's descriptions of our funeral protocol!Even when reading it all alone, I laughed right out loud on nearly every page at not only Gayden's wit, but her ability to let us see the funny side (and caring side) of our funerals and the food solace we provide before and after. It captures those customs perfectly. And, just as she said, I keep the ingredients of a casserole in my pantry at all times, just in case of a neighbor's sudden death, and my funeral suit hangs in the closet and my pearls at the top of my jewelry chest, at the ready.I always sent my sons to church in suits and ties anyway, but I did this partly so they too would be ready for a funeral at the drop of a hat. More than once, we'd have to outfit a cousin because his mother didn't understand this, bless her heart.Gayden's recipes are grand, really dressed up versions of our "funeral food." No Cheese Wiz is included, thank goodness.I particulary laughed at this truth: After the cemetery part of the funeral, in the car on the way to the family home for the funeral meal, we can speak ill of the dead one quite vigorously. But once we get in the driveway of the bereaved, we straighten up and speak only of the great loss to the community his death has caused, even though he had been a rip-roaring scoundrel.And even in the privacy of our car, understand that each criticism of the dead one had been prefaced with "Bless his heart. . ."A Southern lady can give the most scathing statement as long as she begins with "Bless her heart. . ." An example, "Bless her heart, she's ugly as homemade soap and her children are such a disappointment. They all take after her grand-daddy on her mother's side, and bless his heart, I wouldn't pour ice tea on that rascal if he was on fire." Of course, we wouldn't do that at the family home after the funeral, only in the car on the way to it.And we could get away with saying that to her third cousin once removed over the bridge table, but we wouldn't say it to her face. But we could say to her: "Bless your heart, that husband of yours has caused you such grief, with his runnin' around and all. I just wish you'd married Joe Bob, who made a dentist. I know your daddy wanted you to, but, Lord knows, you did the best you could at the time, you bein' pregnant and all."
